Friendly Fire

November 11, 2009

According to Webster’s dictionary the word fidelity means “The quality or state of being faithful.” Fidelity is synonymous with words like devotion, faithfulness and allegiance. No doubt these are qualities every planter or planting team hopes to find in the people that surround them. Yet, far too often those on the front lines, planting new churches experience the exact opposite. Sometimes even from the most unexpected people. In war they call it friendly fire.

As in the case of Jesus, sometimes our most avid and staunch supporters end up denying they even knew you. Many church planters have been blind-sided and sidelined by the loss of fidelity from co-workers, primary investors, friends, team members, denominational supervisors, district leaders, even family members. You may think that it will never happen to you, but think again.

So why do church planters experience a loss of fidelity from friends, family, supervisors and colleagues once they start the church planting process? Every planter has experienced this at some level. While our list is not exhaustive, by any means, we believe that these are the top five reasons. 

1. The Call

This particular reason is most prevalent as it concerns your extended family. Can you imagine what Abrams family thought when he told them his plan for moving? God called to Abram “Get out of your country, from your family. Imagine the humor in the conversation Abram had with his family about his new journey. The conversation probably went something like this.

“Abe. What are you doing?”

“Leaving.”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know!”

“Then how will you know when you’ve arrived?”

“I don’t know.”

“How will you provide for yourself?”

“I don’t know.”

“What will happen if things don’t work out?”

“I don’t know,”

“So, why would you do something so crazy?”

“Cause God told me too.”

Maybe you have already had conversation like this. When God places a call on your heart and you begin to follow through, many will not understand it. We have heard of parents turning their backs on their own children because the parent felt their son or daughter was off on a fool’s errand.

2. Money

More battles have been fought over this issue than we care to mention. Church planting takes an endless stream of money and many in the established church don’t understand. Furthermore, some feel that the money should go to help struggling churches rather than toward a new church. If we have heard it once, we have heard it a dozen times, “Why are you spending so much money on planting new churches when you should be helping us?”

3. Territorialism

This is probably one of the most prolific complaints against church planting. The problem is this complaint doesn’t come from those outside the walls of the church but by those in the church. Most of the time the person heading the charge is the pastor.

It doesn’t really seem to matter how far away you are, you will always be too close. After all, the little church of 50, already established, has a claim on the 200,000 people of their city. The own the mud! They have been in this city for 50 years and have reached an average attendance of 50. But they are on the verge of breaking out, if only they had a bigger building, more money, less competition from other churches, etc…

We call this an “Empire” mentality. Honestly, most pastors seem to be more interested in building their own little empire than building the Kingdom of God. They will passionately fight for their ability to hold sole rights to the souls of their community even though their facility will not hold even a fraction of those who live on their own block.

4. Style of Worship

The style of worship you chose to use could also become a sore spot and cause a loss of fidelity, A young planter in the Tennessee area fund this out the hard way. After launching his new church with a format and style foreign to the rest of the churches in his district, he was ostracized and shunned. Still to this day, even though he has the largest, healthiest, and strongest church in the district, his own colleagues won’t have much to do with him.

5. Jealousy

Truth be told, this is probably where most problems rest. Almost every pastor I know talks about how they would like to see the hand of God on their church in a powerful way. They would like to see the Holy Spirit move and bring hundreds of new people into a live-changing relationship with Jesus. The only problem is their prayer is more focused on them and their ministry than on the actual move of God. Most love to talk about growth and salvation unless it is someone else’s.

Many pray for growth and hope God does marvelous things and when it starts to happen in someone else’s church the pastor immediately disapproves God’s movement by claiming that the other church is either watering down the gospel or behaving in a way that is not proper. Isn’t that strange? We all want to see revival, as long as it happens in our way and on our turf.

Posted 11/11/2009 in Church Planting | 1 Comment - Add Comment

Comments:

     Steve, Of all the very practical things you have posted, man does this one hit home. I've often told my wife that I had always heard what was said about church planting but until you experience that first hand it really doesn't sink in. I am thankful for a faithful God, a faithful family and those friends, pastors and churches who stick right with you through it all. What a powerful mission and vision we have to work for Jesus! Be blessed! Pastor K